This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
