My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
