when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
