Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
