dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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