She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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