He is an equal opportunity slut.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
