i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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