I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
