they need to just BURY HIM!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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