YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
