I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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