Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
