so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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