he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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