Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
its liver damage thursday
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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