it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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