Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
