why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
