this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
