where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
