Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
