soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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