$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
