Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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