I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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