Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
