I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
