just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
