But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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