when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
