And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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