Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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