the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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