Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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