I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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