There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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