and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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