I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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