I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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