You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My ass is underappreciated
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
