I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
