worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
