took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize