I can text with my tongue
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
