the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
