I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just cropdusted the office
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
