if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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