Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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