i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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