I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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