you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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