So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
