Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
