Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
