Your tits are I can't wait for
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
