I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
