I want to stick my p in your. b.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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