Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
