how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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