Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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