i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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