That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
