oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
