glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
