i may or may not be watching the land before time
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
