Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
