i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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