hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
