Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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